Look!

Proven Successful

2008-11-07T05:20:00.000-08:00

The band room was in a whirl of excitement.
We flipped the room!

the percussionists are now on the left side of the room if you sit where Miss Chan is during combined practices.

the band has the BIGGEST cca room in the entire college.
prestege(:

the band is actually a GOLD band.
prestege(:

the band is performing ON STAGE during the Open House next year.
prestege(:

the band is lacking MANPOWER.
prestege(:

I am still wearing my contact lenses and it hurts.
imma go take it off nauu.

i am officially a DJ for the school open house.
I received compliments today and i intend to receive more(:
i am such an attention seeker.
yes i am.

A Twist in My Tummy

2008-11-05T04:18:00.000-08:00

A wave of action just happened and I cannot catch up.
Sitting down to take it all in sounds like a good idea.
I'm still afraid I might not catch up though.
The wave moves fast.

I just finished my PW presentation yesterday and I am done filing today.
I thought I'd be more relieved but apparently, something inside's not undone.
The fact that there's still the results day tomorrow isn't helping.

All my life I've been happy-go-lucky.
My exams haven't defeated me.
My exams haven't gotten me down.
I'd manage to get up after a stumble.
I'd put up a fight against the odds.
Now that I am seventeen, I've wondered
What am I living for?
School?
My friends?
There's nothing I could find difficult; so much so it breaks my drive to achieve.
Now that I am seventeen, I have come to college.
Whatever means it may be, the fact that I did not pull out, I am a fighter.
I survived.
But not enough to tell me confidently that I can make it through.
The results come out tomorrow.
I screwed my mid years,
I barely made it through my CTs.
They've lowered the standards.
Will it be enough?

It is true, Ray.
A rollercoaster ride.
A ride of a lifetime.
We each have a journey to undertake whether we like it or not.
It's been given to us to complete since we came here.
We've each got the privilege, the honour of having the front seat.
The crests and falls of the entire journey builds up the exhilaration, builds up the emotions and builds up the courage to go on.
It's up to you to decide; to crash and burn after a fall or to continue going.

It's a pitfall tomorrow.
The ride's going down.
I won't let it come to an end so soon.
I'm getting cold feet (literally) but I will survive the ride.
I know I will but I can't help getting the feeling of butterflies.
Disgusting butterflies):

Ugh, I am sorry it makes no sense here.
But it's how it is, no sense is how I feel now.
Nervous wreck.

Oh, to add on to it, I have a master class with the President's Own band of the US Marines on the 15th.
Lord help me.

Thesis Writing

2008-10-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

China Studies Independent Studies - Thesis Writing Stage One

I have decided on my key research topic.
I need a good question.
I need to consult my teachers):

I decided on Tiananmen not because of my sadistic pleasures for death but I sincerely think that the movement has formed the grounds of a solid economy and governance. The calls for democracy shook the foundations of communism during the demonstrations of Tiananmen Square.

It was touching to read the columns of students during the incident. Their passion and love for the country. They were fighting for a cause of freedom and prosperity. The mention of death were on their lips the whole time they sat on the square and although they were afraid and terrified out of their wits, they did not move an inch until their leaders decided that it was over.

I mightturn more humane after I.S. is done but in the meantime, I would have to say that I admire truly the spirit and courage of these students. My thesis would probably be a tribune, my tribune to all who have lost their lives fighting for this cause.

To You

2008-10-26T05:09:00.001-07:00

Leave.
Me.
Alone.

Out of my head you shall be.
Out of the little league, cast out from my world.

Overboard and overthrown.
I am misleaded.

Overcome.
Overcome.
Overcome.
This obstacle I will.

I cannot imagine.
I can only imagine.

It cannot.
It will not.
It never will.

Misguided.
Misled.
Misunderstood.
Mistaken.

That's it.
All a mistake.

A forgotten mistake.
A lie.
A misunderstanding.
A false.

An impossibility.

Reflection

2008-10-26T05:01:00.000-07:00

I think I am a very busy person.
My schedule is always packed with a lot of stuff.

I am hard to contact.
When people want to book me for a date, they have to do it in advanced.
Exceptions are made for important people like my BFFs.

I regret not saying yes to the BB auditions.
Nonetheless, I am very very proud of the 5 girls who gave it their all for the performance.
I am so sorry I couldn't make it there.
I swear I'd be there for the semi finals and the finals.
((:

Away from digression, I am seriously ...
I need time.
A lot of time.

I need to think.
I need to breathe.
I need to break away.
I need to seek help.
I need to find an organiser.

Resolution: Follow and be a slave to your organiser. Note, remember, pen down all appointments and carry the organiser wherever you go.

Top of Wishlist now: An organiser
Second on Wishlist: A new bag to go out with.
Third on Wishlist: Stationery.

I am a slave to school.

Results Day 2008

2008-10-22T05:53:00.000-07:00

Today marks a faithful day.
I got back my Promotional Examination results today.

A - >70
B - >60
C - 55 to 59
D - 50 to 54
E - 45 to 49
S - 40 to 44
U - <40

This is the rate of improvement since June
Mid Years:
H1 General Paper - B
H1 Mathematics - U
H2 Chemistry - U
H2 Economics - S
H2 China Studies in English - U

Final Year:
H1 General Paper - E
H1 Mathematics - C
H2 Chemistry - E
H2 Economics - E
H2 China Studies in English - C

Averaging my grades, I estimate the overall to be ...
H1 General Paper - D
H1 Mathematics - E
H2 Chemistry - S
H2 Economics - S
H2 China Studies in English - E

Horrid.
):

New Lover

2008-10-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

This is ...

Wilber Pan.

A tribune to You

2008-10-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a joy ride.
I finally wrote a letter to Donovan to tell him how I feel.
Now I can write his name in full and in public, no longer afraid or ashamed to.
Donovan.
He's now become a beautiful memory.
I'm glad I wrote the letter even though I was too scared out of my wits to give it to him personally.
I thank my girlfriend, Lynn for helping me out when the guys ditched me for it.

A closure to another memory on my walk of Life.

I finally said my goodbyes today.
From the moment you stepped into the crowd till the time you took your seat, I watched you.
It was for the longest time I looked.
It felt ... pleasantly calming to the senses.
You smiled and went on one of your numerous (infamous) trips to the washroom and back.

( Somehow, you always end up going there a few times I noticed )

Songs were sung, dances were executed, the speech and drama rolled out and finally, a close to your farewell assembly.
You gathered with your peers at the quadrangle below and awaited the moment of truth - when you finally release the memories of college into the air with balloons.
I stood by the rails as I watched you play with the yellow balloon in your hand.
You reminded me of a little child.
You were smiling like I wanted you to.
Another perfect moment captured by the camera of my heart.
There's a little child in you that others can see and fall in love with.
Stay this way for a little while, don't be so quick in growing up.

The sun got into your eyes when you looked up at Mr Yeo.
You still held on to the balloon.
The school song echoed through the campus and you stood in attention; in self isolation, a foot away from the rest of your class.
I was amazed that you knew the lyrics to the entire school song.
The college must have had a special belonging in your heart.
You tied the string of the balloon securely around your wrist.

The time came when the announcement was made,
"To release the balloons!" they said
You untied the knot and held it for the last time.
Goodbye, I said
As I watched the little yellow balloon rise high.
It marked the end of a beautiful journey
Thanks you,
for taking me on a joyride.

The end of a memory, one more page filled.
Time to come back, focused for my own battle.
As you slowly fade to the back of my mind, I relinquish all that I have had and would probably ever have(:
Goodbye and well wishes.

From The Classroom(:

2008-10-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

haii! We're now in PW and there is nothing to do here.
haha

okay, I lied.
There are things to do, only they're put on hold coz sheep's typing things on the laptop now trying to edit stuff that makes sense.

Random Fact!
Word: Ramification = Consequence
Used in a sentence: The ramification of eating a large scoop of wasabi is that you start tearing up.

My eyes hurt.
Totally.

configuration

2008-10-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

I wish my parents would read my blog.
They'd understand me better that way.

I finally figured out why people don't get me gifts for any occasions.
Not that I don't give presents, or that I am hated by everyone.
It's just that they don't know what the hell I like.
Either so or my hobbies are expensive.

So I decided to write a list of things I really want so you guys can get it for me. I'll really love you if you do. REALLY.

CDs
1. Jack and Rai - the one that has the Fa La La song.
2. The Academy Is - The Fast Times At Barrington High
3. John Mayer - the one with the track called 'Daughters'
4. Chris Daughtry - the one called 'It's Not Over' I guess?
5. Carrie Underwood - Summer Carnival
6. SHINee - Vol. 1 The SHINee world I think ...
7. Clazziquai - their collection(:
8. Aly and AJ - the one with 'The Potential Breakup Song' as well as their new album, if they have a new album ...
9. BIG BANG's first,second and third ( I'm getting these if I'm off to Korea )
10. Shinhwa's 10th anniversary album - the one with 'Run'

Clothes - I fit into an XS, S or an M for most clothings(:
1. A zip up jacket with a hoodie
2. that nice brown Mango tee shirt that has a really nice sequins and patterns on it. The collar's really unique too and it's $50
3. Levi's 501 (AH HA!) ignore this one.

Toys
1. A white teddy bear
2. A brown teddy bear
3. A doggy plushie(:

Electronics
1. an Ipod classic - 120GB with a cover case
2. a webcam
3. a design tablet from bamboo (:

Making Things Work

2008-10-02T23:49:00.000-07:00

My body is a wonderland indeed.
It's aching in so many different places,
I want to use my hands to feel the ache and relief it with a gooooood massage.

My nose is running, my throat is sore.
The back of my throat feels like rusty old hinges - airy and painfully screechy.
yuck.
I do not want to know what's in there.
I hope I get warded for removing my tonsils or something ... if I had one.

ok.
I take that back.
I DO NOT wanna get warded at all.
har har.

I just wanna get this pain over and done with so I can get back with my rockin' healthy life.

I have changed my life course.
I now aspire to go to NTU to further my studies in Mass Media and Communications.
I think I am easily swayed by opinions so I might change my mind totally again next year but I'm pretty sure whatever decisions I make and change next year will still remain in the scope of media developments.

All my life, I've followed (pretty much) my parents' decisions for me.
What schools to pick ...
Okay, so not WHAT school but what courses to take in Secondary School,
what shirts to wear (sometimes)
what should and shouldn't I do (most of the time, I'm a really good daughter)
what time to get home (nowadays I bend the rules and come home as late as 1am in the morning but that's besides the point)
.
.
.
NOW IT'S TIME
that I make my own future and do what I wanna.
MEE-DEE-AHH

watch out world.
I'm coming

Sunburnt patch

2008-10-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

I now have a horrid sunburnt patch on my face.
Dabbing it feel rough, like sandpaper ):
yuck.
I should have applied sunblock when I felt the heat.
sigh.
I guess sometimes tans DO go wrong ehhh
Candice, stop imagining that your skin is resistant to UV when it isn't.

We brought dear Sparky to the club today for a swim.
He paddled and waddled like a cute thing in water.
Amazing creatures these dogs.
Just then, a HUGE Chow Chow came in.
It's fur was goldish in colour and it looks positively like a teddy.
It's only a year old and it's head is already touching the tip of my waist!
Super cute, it was its first time swimming so it was really really scared and all.
The first few laps were amusing.
Such a huge thing stuggling to get out of the pool from the sides.
HAHA!
should have taken a video though ...
oh well, i asked if it was chow chow's first time swimming
the owner was kind of "pssh, what do you know, child?"
so i didn't talk to her there after.
anyhow, we left the club at 4.22pm.

EAGLE EYE IS AWESOME.
it's like cyber terrorism on the silverscreen!
awesome show.
I rate it 8/10 ((:

I shall not spoil the show.
BUT shia labeouf is positively raging hotness.
the stubble is ... ierno what you think but it's hideous.
haha.
i mean, clean cut would do but befitting to his role, I shall let this go.

Anyhow, I still shall not spoil the show but it's got the United States Defence Unit creating a malfunctioning tracking system in bid to connect people but ends up taking lives of the innocent including a techno specialist who has a twinnish younger brother who is the exact opposite to his character and is totally hot and totally saves the day by shooting rounds in the air to stop the sonar device from sending an ultrasound to a tiny frag of a crystal which apparently blows up an area the size of a football field thus sending the police force in frenzy at him for attempted murder of the President of the United States but ends up getting a medal from him for stopping the world dominatory eyeball from destroying the radiant future of the United States and protecting his reign as President of course.

See?
I told you I won't spoil the show.

K Dramas

2008-09-28T01:49:00.001-07:00

hooked on vineyard man.
absolutely "thee best" drama since i stopped in 2007

Story About You

2008-09-24T05:10:00.000-07:00

I never knew you existed.
Day by day, time flies by in an instant and soon it has already hit April.
Like cigars in summertime, that was when I found you and where the heat all began.

You never knew.
Never knew.

As I sat and watched from afar, you feasting on what looks to be a gourmet spread.
The way you laughed and smiled at jokes I could never hear of,
The way you look when you stare into blankness,
The way you walk in and out of sight with your shirt tucked out and in a mess
The way you always seem dazed when you catch me looking

Gradually, I found out more.
How you always make so much noise when doing a math question,
How you always go to refill your bottle after talking out loud,
How you always disappear to head through the darkness of a corridor and come back into the light with your hand on your head,
How you manage to get off the hook for acting stupid,
How you beg teachers to return your items

I knew, always knew when you'd be around so I could catch a glimpse of you.
Whenever you're around, the mess of a day I had always seem to straighten up on its own and everything becomes alright.
The tight twist in my tummy when I see you looking at me with those eyes that glistens in sunlight, the sudden breathlessness like all life just drained out of me.

You saw me today.
In comparison to the tense atmosphere, you came as a wave of calm and I could do things like breeze.
You walked past my table and took a peek at my papers, all spread in a mess on the table I had to myself after she left.
I felt an uplifting emotion when he told me you looked.
I was happy.

I have never had the courage
To open my mouth to say I know you
To say hello and goodbye
Countless times you've walked past me
Made eye contact with me
I never had the courage.
I guess I would just have to live with the bliss of looking at you from a distance

- a thin line between love.

A happy ending to my story of you

Shoppaholics Unite!

2008-09-18T06:58:00.000-07:00

Shopping is now the only thing on my mind, thanks to Lynn.
Friday will be the day.
26th of September.

Shopping list:
- Shades
- Long Johns
- Tops for Korea trip
- Skinny Jeans
- Make Up! [M.A.C - lipstick, bronzer and eye shadows]
- Accessories [Necklaces and Rings]

List of things to buy in Korea:-
1. Banc Watch(:
2. Sakun Backpack
3. Sakun's new sling
4. Sakun Hoodies
5. CDs [Remapping of the human soul, It's Hyorish, The Beginning, The Very Surprise, Vol. 1, Younha's Second, Best Ballads Vol. 4, Arashi!]

A Gracious Society

2008-09-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

Is Singapore a gracious society?

I was just reading the Prime Minister's speech 5 minutes ago and it got me thinking. An indian woman, visited Singapore nearly 40 years ago returns once again to find that the kindness bug has struck. Her bags were carried, shopped around and was given water to drink ... there is a possibility that we are actually taking this Kindness Movement seriously, but that's just the minority. The bulk of us, in my opinion are still as stagnent as ever! No Ps and Qs, service without a smile, the click of the tongue says it all after a little bumping of shoulders - apologies not accepted ):

The problem here isn't the policy, it's the people. Some of us are willing to make the change, go the extra mile to serve others. Others may not have experienced the joy of giving. What you give comes back to you ten fold; returned exponentially the happiness of a moment of giving. It all boils down to the mind. Once everyone is inspired enough to give and be kind, Singapore will become (eventually) a gracious society. Until that day happens, we would just have to keep us the kindness and pray that Singaporeans will get infected and join the cycle of giving.

((:

I promised I'd blog today and I did!

I studied quite a bit today, completed some math questions, read through China Studies but a lot more can be done(: I shall put in double the effort tomorrow and complete TWO China Studies essay tomorrow - dissected and digested.

I think I have completely made a 360 degree turn in my career options and this is what I am thinking about now:

First, enter into Arts and Social Sciences at NUS through applying for scholarships and bursaries(that way, I can get subsidies from the government for my education and put less burdens on my parents)
- Choice of course? Journalism or English
- Arrangement of timetable: I intend to do Languages on a part time basis thus I will slot in some language course in between modules. Time will be set aside for healthcare and sports so I will take up dance and a sport for extra curricular activities.

Secondly, I'd apply for jobs in the journalism circle to gain experiences.
- Attachment programmes? I want to travel the world so I would take the opportunity to look for attachments overseas. Countries like the States, Europe? I'd like to visit the Herald Tribune even if I were to only serve coffee in the office, it'd be good exposure to see how others work under pressure(:

Thirdly, I'd like to focus on writing as a career. Meanwhile, I'd take up courses to prepare me for another degree. Medicine? Media? I don't know yet but certainly, I would aspire to learn as much as I can while I am still young and ambitious.
- World travels: Prague, Czech Republic, Korea, Japan, Venice, ISRAEL, Egypt and China.
- Weekend hobbying: Extreme sports, asthetics and music.
- Holidays: Spent with my dog and my family(:

Lastly, Future Expectations.
I would certainly get married, have kids ... but I want to have a life. I want to do things that I have never done before.

Get caught, go to prison, drug trafficking?

Not my thing.

I want to see the big footed Yeti, so mistakened to be the Abominable Snowman. I want to run the meadows of New Zealand, I want to sing to the sound of music on the high crests of Austria, I want to sail the high seas of (wherever), I want to scale mountains ... okay, maybe not. I am still a little terrified of dying on a cliff in the middle of nowhere hovering in and out of the hemisphere, not being able to breathe, cut from civilization and with neither kith nor kin knowing of my situation because of bad reception from my Blackberry.

I want to see the world.

Then I'd be able to live with myself and be a good parent to my child - showing him or her the world through my eyes, grooming a self learner - curious, knowledgeable and caring about society.

I want to make sure that he or she values nature and the environment. Don't let trees become extinct! See the on sidewalks instead of museums! *dramatic pause*

I am not that bent on environmentalism. I just think it's a good idea to let my child be caring enough for the environment ...

Okay.
I think I have blogged enough.
An incredulous pause right there.
In the middle of nowhere.
Oh well, randomness is a good thing once in a while.
I need beauty sleep to be refreshed and inspired for General Paper tomorrow.
See you after the 25th!

One Saturday Evening in Singapore

2008-09-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

I left reluctantly from the airport back home where I am forced to head to. I thought of doing a little PW things on the train ride home, thinking that the train would be pretty empty considering that it was already close to 11pm. The ride to Tanah Merah was a smooth, quiet one. I enjoyed that(: The moment I got off at the interchange, the crowd came in and like totally took all the seats available on the train. I totally thought people would slowly disintegrate and move off the seats like the good citizens they are when they see poor ol' me using the laptop - one hand holding the computer and another typing out words. NOOOOOOOOOO, instead they all pretended not to see, pretended to sleep or pretended not to care! ch~ pissed off, I turned off the computer and sulked to myself inwardly.

Nevermind, that was just a little ranting before I get to my point of this post.

I realised that Singapore is actually not that dull a place as I thought it would be. As we passed by every train station, a ton of commuters will alight and board the train. It was comparitively as crowded on a weekend than a weekday. Amazing isn't it? It felt like as if the entire population of Singapore was on the train with you. My apologies for being so amused by this but yeahh,

okay, this post officially sucked.
i will post nicer sounding ones when I get the inspiration to(:
until then, enjoy this half done ugly to the max post I have here.

A Difference

2008-09-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

The present seems intimidating.

Everyday I am confronted by the truth of the fact that Promos is within a weeks' time and I feel that I am psychologically unprepared. I go to school wondering what lies ahead of my lessons, what I can really look forward to during the day and I really really thank God for such positively jovial [S]classmates[/S] friends.

Whenever I feel dull and dazed, completely out of the scope of life, they are the ones that bring me back breathless with ultimately lame jokes, stomach-cringing laughter and infectious catch-phrases of the day, sometimes month. There are times when I feel like breaking down, when my heart sinks to the depths of a seemingly bottomless hollow, that is when I am reminded that I am not facing reality alone. I have 16 other good people who are running the marathon with me, in a dilemma but are still keeping up with the journey towards the end of the tunnel.

The Chemistry Lecture test was the hardest hit this week. Everyone was frantic. Flipping back and forth our notes to grasp whatever technique and functions we could get our hands on. Everyone was working hard. Everyone was studying hard for it. It was a mock paper but we believed that mock test or not, it'd determine our preparedness for Promos.

The papers were given out, the teachers took note of the time and when the clock struck 12, we immediately began scrutinizing the test paper to dig out all the information the question offered. As I got through each question, I felt like the world was out to get me by the neck with cold grimy fingers. The questions were outfronted but I still could not understand a single thing I read. I managed to throw up a few answers but the remaining pieces were left nearly blank. By the end of the entire examination, I felt like the worst sinner of all. I handed in a nicely stapled, nearly empty 2 sheets of fullscap paper - still a little crisp at the edges. I was on the verge of a major breakdown.

Just as I got out of my seat to bolt out the door, the teachers held us back for some announcements. Grumpily, without a choice, I sat back down and took deep long breaths to hold back my raging emotions. The moment Mr T. said we could leave, I made my exit as fast as possible. Zi Yang suspected something amiss with me but was unable to pinpoint exactly what made me leave in such a fluster. I shook my head in assurance that I was okay and quickly brisked down the ramp. My brain took over and forced my inner me to hold back and not cry because if I did start the waterworks, it'd be hard to stop and things'll get really ugly.

To cut the long story short, I didn't tell anyone how frustrated and angry I was at myself for not being able to do the test. Yes, they say that the test was a tough nut to crack but I felt that I am responsible for my failure in answering such simple, straight-to-the-point questions. I rided over my sadness and carried on perse throughout the day.

When I got back to the overhead bridge, I decided to take the path going through the Executives back home instead of cutting through the blocks like always. As I walked, I spoke to the Lord. I told him that I am really really really, for once in my life, terrified of what is to come for Promos. The intuition of failing just keeps coming back, over and over again that I think I am starting to believe that I'd be retained. Tears fell and I told him ( after a long time ) how I truly felt about myself. How lousy I feel, how I keep procrastinating and putting the blame on the system.

That was when He reminded me of my past. All the events that had shaped me to be who I am in Him - all the times I shouldered the burden of completing a task assigned on my own instead of delegating it like I am supposed to, all the times fear got the better of me and I end up doing stupid things and regretting them, all the times I blew my top over trivial issues like where to put certain things into certain places in certain parts of the Prefects' Lounge, all the times I cried because I thought I did something horribly wrong but was actually horribly right ...

I have learnt to let go and keep looking forward to future things.
I have learnt to stand up on my 2 feet and not depend on others for my own happiness and pride.
I have learnt that not everyone can be trusted wholeheartedly.
I have learnt to take things in my own stride and not let it get the better of me.
I have learnt to discern and treasure the things I love most.
I have learnt to love an ever-present, ever-persistant God who has always been there in every time of need but due to my negligence have always seemed so distant and fictitious.

I felt ... loved.
After so much desiring and wanting to feel something different in my walk with Him, I felt a sensation run through me. Not like an electrifying shot-through-the-veins but a filling up of the soul. I felt comforted, refreshed and loved. His presence did not overpower/overwhelmed my senses where I totally transform into the re-enactment of the confessors at the wailing wall and end up in tears on the floor, crying out loud to a God who so loves but it felt like a tangible engulfment of my inner me. It was almost as if He took me by the hand and took a short stroll with me back home like a friend.

I love the way He does all these little things in my life.
Makes living a whole lot more bearable(:

I Want My Glazed Donuts!

2008-09-02T17:53:00.000-07:00

Today is the day for our Chemistry Mass Tutorial.
It's now the 3rd of August, 8.55am.
Time flies in the blink of an eye.
I am confident of PASSING my exams, not aceing them like I used to.

Right now, many thoughts about my past go into my head.
Why did I go to Yusof Ishak Secondary instead of Kranji Secondary?
Why didn't I stand up for my own rights and fought for the Lit class in Sec 3?
Why didn't I join some sports CCA instead of the Military Band?
Why didn't I study just a little harder for Math, then I could get into PJC with ease.
Why did I appeal into PJC through CCA? Maybe I could have gotten in without my CCA?
Why didn't I begin my revisions earlier?
ughhh.

Horrid thoughts.
I am beginning to wonder why in the world am I here in the first place.
Like on this earth.
Haha.
The mind works in strange, incomprehendable ways ...

OH! by the way, I went back to YI on Teachers' Day.
All is well and unchanged.
Teachers as usual, nagging at students ...
Teachers trying so hard to do things for their students but returns unappreciated.
Students telling me how hard O levels are. (I am like wayyyyy past that stage and like it's a piece of cake luhh!)

...

NOW I KNOW HOW GOD FEELS WHEN I TELL HIM THAT

haha.
it's like, He's been to my future and He says it's good .
Why don't you just step aside and let Me do all the work while you rest in My finished work for you?
Striving for greatness is good, if you'd let Me be the one trying.

weird feelings inside

2008-08-28T07:26:00.000-07:00

Today was an awefully weird day.
I was to be the MC for the awards ceremony of the NAPFA test and it rained so everyone had to gather in the hall. Nervewrecked as I was, I grabbed the mic and did the entire thing WITHOUT a single mistake considering that fact that I have not spoken like that since the Annual Awards? I can't remember but it's a long long time (: Nevertheless, I was too nervous to look into the crowd on my right for the certain person so yes. I did not see anything or anyone.

I got praised by Mr Dennis Yeo too after I was done. Ha, so happens that my chinese name begins with jade and he said that I'm better than that Jade Seah. Cool.He's super awesome. I can see why the JC2s love him so much(: Funny man.

Anyhow, he was not in school today and this post is absolutely redundantly sucky. haha

Tell you something gross, I have plenty of eye discharge now and it's irritating my eyes )):
haru haru, i wish you were here now.

Embrace the rush, You'll appreciate it.

2008-08-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

I read this article about school earlier today.
It asks besides stress and exams, what else is there to school life?
It's a pretty debatable issue now that someone has boldly stood up in declaration to clarify this matter.

As Amalina has said before, school life is a good re-enactment of the real world with real deadlines to meet, meetings to attend, work to be done, research and training needed for self improvement, and many others that I have no time to mention. If we take things at our own pace, society will fall into complacency and no one will have the desire to strive for success. School without stress is an impossibility. In the cycle of Life, there is bound to be stress - whether from family, friends, work or simply the environment and it is precisely this stress that has forced the world into rapid globalisation and produced geniuses like Bill Gates and Michael Phelps? How did he get here? Well, in the world of swimming and competitive sports, stress puts the competition in competitive sports. That's how he managed to overcome all odds to become the record Olympiad swimmer.

Why am I talking rampantly about school? Well because I am stuck with Economics and Market Failure. That's why.

What I need to do now is to meditate on His love for me. Know that He's with me through my circumstances. Grit my teeth and strike the iron while it's still hot. Push forward and reach your goals of a 'C' for Chemistry.

Mr Yaw has selected yours truly to announce the Gold Medalists of the NAPFA test 2008 and sadly, his name's not on the list. Instead, we have GJPB and John on the list of fitness. Oh well, at least he'd know my name(: haha! I am seriously blowing things out of proportion here. I must learn from dear Gabri - touch and go.

the cyclic structure of a benzene ring cannot be broken due to its stability. i want to become the benzene ring so that i cannot be destroyed. for as You've said i am struck down but not destroyed(:

heck the hiatus,

2008-08-21T06:30:00.000-07:00

i'm back by popular demand(:

okay, i'm just exaggerating.
i just feel like blogging because i am jealous of everyone else who is :D

just a little reminder,
start of hell : 18th september 2008
end of hell : 25th september 2008 (with many little breaks in between)

Throughout this entire week, I've been having much extreme mood swings and it's not because it's that time of month again. Take for example during Economics lecture earlier today. Ms Loh was going through the last portion of our lecture notes on the all important government intervention and I was just dazed. I sat in my seat staring blankly at the humongously impossible-to-expand-anymore projectile screen in front of the theatre. Suddenly, this really nice piece of band music flows into my head. I hummed silently to the tune that just seemingly never ends. As my mind floats on its own to the rhythm, I told Gabri that I am playing a happy tune in my head right now and in that split second, the flow stops and my mind is a pitch blackened mess.

I also realised a pattern to these swings; I am extremely exciteable in the morning because I get to see certain good looking people at the quadrangle and it's the start of a new day. As the day progresses and lessons start to lose its hype (not that they are hype-y. I just don't know what good word to describe the deteriorating energy I feel after the bell rings to end the lesson ), I become moody and by the time lunch break comes, I am easily irritable and absolutely brain drained. On good days, I am regenerated and I feel like I am not a pest or a firebrand anymore however on bad days, the mood just worsens and everyone around seems to form a space between them and me.

I can fairly deduce that I am officially suffering from Exam Immersion. I am sinking well below sea level into the exam stress sphere of the college world. The moment I cannot breathe, I come up for oxygen and I sink back into the sphere. It's only when I am depleted of oxygen and I lose my consciousness that I float back into the carefree sphere and recuperate. This vicious cycle will repeat itself in my second year (warning: it might get worse). Truly, it sucks to be a college student in Singapore but it's precisely this environment of competition that forces you to work hard and propel yourself towards your goals in life. after graduation and the 'A' level results are given out, you'll appreciate all that college life has given you - all the tears and laughter you shared with your classmates, all the mugging you did during breaks and after school hours, all the nights spent in school wrecking your brains over a simple math logarithm question and all the bitching about people in school. My teachers who have survived college all break into smiles when nostalgia sets in and they rant about their 'good ol' days'.

I guess I do have a blessed opportunity that others will never get to have in their lifetime. Lecturers have reinterated this point of us being a privileged bunch of the entire 17-year-old cohort here in Singapore. Not only will we be at the top of the list of University applicants, we are able to cope better in Uni. compared to those who went through the Polytechnic route due to the striking similarities between education in Varsity and College. Never have I imagined this to be true. I have always thought that Polytechnic students work in an environment closer to that in the University than us here in College. They are given more hands-on assessments and are able to work in the real industry to gain experience. They are taught to be independant and responsible for their own learning. They will definitely survive in society, much less University. But that's pretty much surface work done. In fact, although our lecturers still spoonfeed us by pushing us to attend lectures and tutorials, forcing us to finish our homework assignments and we do get lesser hands-on work (SPA), we are taught basic fundamentals and its applications. By making us attend lectures, building our abilities to spot examination questions and mindmap our topics, we are actually pretty much very prepared for University life. Our lecture notes are printed with references and learning outcomes on the cover page. In University, a lot of facts cannot be found in lecture notes. Instead, the library stocks up on books that will help in teaching you to apply knowledge you've learnt. Actually, Polytechnic students are trained for proper work life. Their due dates are more stringent than ours and their lecturers are a hell lot more scary than Ms Kat and her bulk of a fringe (I miss her a lot, really. The whole photocopying auntie at the bookshop was classic).

*sighs* I will drive myself harder into the wall to wake up my complacent spirit into studying hard for Final Years. Bring home the fact that the Lord is studying with me, cheering me on. Rest, study and watch as He performs the miracle of turning water into wine (sweet sweet ice wine from Canada). All my time spent studying in Him, He sees and He knows. He will return the positive externalities full fold unto His glory that I may know He truly loves and cares for me. Drop the hiatus and continue blogging. It will benefit my writing skills for Economics, General Paper and China Studies in English.

Congratulations people, you got your entertainment back :D

Sickening Urge

2008-08-11T05:19:00.000-07:00

Song Title: 하루 하루by Big Bang

떠나가
ye finally i realize that i'm nuttin' without you
i was so wrong forgive me

ah ah ah ah -

파도처럼 부숴진 내 맘
My heart breaks like the waves

바람처럼 흔들리는 내 맘
My heart wavers like the wind

연기처럼 사라진 내 사랑
My love disappears like smoke

문신처럼 지워지지가 않아
Like a tattoo, it doesn't erase

한숨만 땅이 꺼지라 쉬죠
I can only sigh

내 가슴속엔 먼지만 쌓이죠 (say good bye)
In my heart, only dust builds up (say good bye)

네가 없인 단 하루도 못 살것만 같았던 나
Without you I couldn't live for even a day

생각과는 다르게도 그럭저럭 혼자 잘 살아
It's different from what I thought, I'm living okay alone

보고싶다고 불러봐도 넌 아
I call out that I miss you but you don't answer

무 대답없잖아헛된 기대 걸어봐도 이젠 소용없잖아
My false hopes are now useless

네 옆에 있는 그 사람이 뭔지
Who is that person next to you, does he make you cry?

혹시 널 울리진 않는지그대 내가 보이긴 하는지 벌써 싹 다 잊었는지
Can you even see me or have you already completely forgotten me?

걱정돼 다가가기조차 말을 걸 수 조차 없어 애태우고
When I worry I can't go to you, I can't even talk to you

나 홀로 긴 밤을 지새우죠 수백번 지워내죠
I struggle through the long night alone and erase everything a hundred times

(Chorus)

돌아보지말고 떠나가라 또 나를 찾지말고 살아가라
Don't look back and leave, don't look for me and live

너를 사랑했기에 후회없기에 좋았던 기억만 가져가라
Because I loved you, because I don't regret, just only take the happy memories

그럭저럭 참아볼만해 그럭저럭 견뎌낼만해
I can stand it okay, I can endure through it okay

넌 그럴수록 행복해야돼 하루하루 무뎌져가네
Through this you have to be happy, day by day it fades away

oh girl cry cry
yo my all (say good bye)

길을 걷다 너와 나 우리 마주친다해도
While walking if, you and I, we bump into each other

못 본척 하고서 그대로 가던길 가줘
Pretend you didn't see me and go where you were going

자꾸만 옛 생각이 떠오르면 아마도나도
If past memories keep coming back then

몰래 그댈 찾아갈지도 몰라
I might go looking for you

넌 늘 그 사람과 행복하게 넌 늘 내가 다른 맘 안 먹게
You have to always be happy with that person so that I don't change my heart

넌 늘 작은 미련도 안 남게끔 잘 지내줘 나 보란듯이
So that there won't even be the slightest bit of hope, live well, as if I'm watching

넌 늘 저 하늘같이 하얗게 뜬 구름과도 같이 새파랗게
You're always blue like the sky and white like the floating clouds

넌 늘 그렇게 웃어줘 아무 일 없듯이
You have to always laugh like that as if there is nothing wrong

(Chorus)

돌아보지말고 떠나가라 또 나를 찾지말고 살아가라
Don't look back and leave, don't look for me and live

너를 사랑했기에 후회없기에 좋았던 기억만 가져가라
Because I loved you, because I don't regret, just only take the happy memories

그럭저럭 참아볼만해 그럭저럭 견뎌낼만해
I can stand it okay, I can endure through it okay

넌 그럴수록 행복해야돼 하루하루 무뎌져가네
Through this you have to be happy, day by day it fades away

나를 떠나서 맘 편해지길 (나를 잊고서 살아가줘)
I hope that you'll be at peace by leaving me (Forget me and live)

그 눈물은 다 마를테니 ye (하루하루 지나면)
Your tears will all be dry (when the days pass)

차라리 만나지 않았더라면 덜 아플텐데 um
If we hadn't met, it wouldn't hurt so much

영원히 함께하자던 그 약속 이젠
The promise that we would be together

추억에 묻어두길 바래 baby 널 위해 기도해
I want you to bury it in our memories baby I pray for you

(Chorus)

돌아보지말고 떠나가라 또 나를 찾지말고 살아가라
Don't look back and leave, don't look for me and live

너를 사랑했기에 후회없기에 좋았던 기억만 가져가라
Because I loved you, because I don't regret, just only take the happy memories

그럭저럭 참아볼만해 그럭저럭 견뎌낼만해
I can stand it okay, I can endure through it okay

넌 그럴수록 행복해야돼 하루하루 무뎌져가네
Through this you have to be happy, day by day it fades away

oh girl i cry cry
yo my all say good bye bye
oh my love don't lie lie
yo my heart (say good bye)

There is a sickening urge for me to blog today.
Very well, I shall update you on my progress(:

Chemistry:
Done - Stoichiometry to Alkanes
To be done - Alkenes, Arenes, Gaseous State and Rate of Reactions

Econs:
To be done - Revision of everything

GP:
To be done - Notes of Mass Media, Environment and Family

Maths:
Done - Hypothesis testing
To be done - Revision of everything

China Studies:
To be done - Notes on One Child, Reforms, Olympics, Gorges Dam and Confucian Ideology

On a lighter note, yesterday was the class potluck!
It was a joyous occasion with half the class present.
The rest had other stuffs to do so they didn't come down, to their loss
We had a great time barbecuing, dancing, playing with su wei's cocktail mocktail machine and animals.
Mocha was a dear.
She is such a lazy dog that I think she'd make good couch buddies with Sparky.
We learnt a lot about each other too
I'm glad they were willing to share during Truth or Dare.
wedidsomeunderagedrinkingtoothoughtwasredwine <33
Kids will be kids, her brother was a bother.
haha, with his aggressive nature, he would make a good sportsman.
i wish su wei's family all the best in their future endeavours and may the Lord guard their household.

It's been 6 months since I stepped into Pioneer Junior College.
My first few weeks in school were rough but gradually things settled and people started opening up.
I too started to open up, talking to my classmates, getting to know them and their peeves.
It truly is the Lord that gelled everyone together - nearly 3/4 of the class are Christians by the way
Good times, bad times, Zestt stuck together.
All the laughs, mimicking, the little eco club moment on the field and late nights mugging or eating.
I love you guys.
Honestly, you guys are the best class I've had over the past 17 years.
I hope we can all move up together into our second and final year in PJ.
Do your best and DO NOT RETAIN OKAY!
"come on guys, respect luhh"
hahaha
cheers!

Alright, enough reminiscing and emotional dedications,
Back to the books!

a fine line between love and like.
which side are you on?

*o8o8o8 stand up! day after day

Pre Hiatus Announcement

2008-06-21T05:58:00.000-07:00

hello everyone.
i am about to embark on my GREATEST hiatus in 17 years.
I have never done this for 'O' levels or even any period of my life on this Earth.
I have realised that in order to motivated myself, I have to deprive my visual keis aka BIGBANG and forum pages at YGBB AND BBSG =D

Anyhow,

Rationale of my hiatus is:
- To pull up my grades for promotionals

What I will be doing ( serves as a reminder to me everytime I log in ):
1. Revising topics I've learnt for the day
2. Practice everything I have learnt and apply them to every day life.
3. Indicate explanations on notes with post-it which reminds me, I have to get more post-its.
4. Doing 2 TYS questions a day for each subject
5. Memorising and rememorising all the definitions by heart

Reward for doing so :
1. GOOD GRADES FOR PROMOS! ( main aim )
2. an unforgettable trip to Korea! ( side aim )

MUST SUPPORT ME KAYS PEOPLE!
Countdown to hiatus:

1 day and 3 hours.

Duration(s) of hiatus :

23.06 - 1.10 (start of 1 week holiday)

8.10 - 30.10 (preparation for final year exams)

PS :

I will still be using the computer and be online MAINLY for project work and emails so .. seize that chance to talk to me. My phone will strictly be for emergencies only.

PPS :

candice, don't listen to music while you're studying. it's good but it's not exam standards. unless you're really bored, tune in to epik high and big bang. otherwise, TURN IT OFF!

see you people!
soon ...

Preparation for MYEs

2008-06-18T01:20:00.000-07:00

I am nearly done with Chemistry notes (:
FINALLY ><
I'm still left with Organic Chemistry which is basically just naming the different functional groups and -enes.

Nearly done with Economics too.
Left with Perfect Competition - Profits, Graphs, Conditions, LRSR.

For China Studies, It's just memo stuffs so Imma leave it for the weekends.

Math ..
T_T Still at the 3rd chapter )):
NOT GOOD

So, now, I'm going to finish chemistry notes and memorise them.
Followed by Economics.
AND THE MATH ~!

AJA AJA!
on hiatus for 3 hours starting from nauu

Procrastination

2008-06-18T00:36:00.000-07:00

Song Title : Look At Me! GwiSoon
This is what procrastination does to you.
I am going to put up my Taiwan photos ( FINALLY ) after much dragging ^ ^
So ...

Days In Taiwan Part Two

Front Row from Left : Guan Lin, Yi Lin, Christine, Candice, Quan Xiang

Back Row from Left : Jun Ye, Jessica

The Taiwanese Girls and Us ( Guang Ren High School )

From Left: Poh Gek, Jessica, Christine and Michele

The Taiwanese Girls and Us ( Hua Gang Arts School )

Seriousness in the Presidential Residence

Sam and Me
Gabriel and I ( UGLY photo D: )

Yi Lin and I at Jiu Fen

From Left: Yi Lin, Candice and Emily

Jump Shot #1 - Preparing to Jump

Flowers at Chiang Kai Shek Museum Place

On Lovers' Bridge

The Wind on Lovers' Bridge

" I don't wanna go! "

On the first evening we landed, we immediately headed down to the hotel to check-in. I tell you, the roads in Taiwan is super amusing. It's like buildings, street lamps and road signs pop out of nowhere and it sccares people a whole lot.

Anyways, back to the itenarary. we were intially suppose to head down to Shihlin Night Market but bevause Xi Men Ding is only a 3 minute walk from our hotel, the teachers decided to leave us to our shopping at Xi Men Ding (which actually kinda sucked coz' Shihlin has better clothes up for bargain ) but nonetheless, I bought a pair of white high-heeled crazy cowboy boots and a ring that coz SGD$19. It's rare and absolutely gorgeous. The only drawback was that it didn't come in my size so I wore one 2 sizes bigger D: It slips off easily!

Got back to the hotel for debriefing and whatnots and then headed back to the room for a good night's sleep.

The next morning, we had to be at the cafeteria at 6+ am just so that we can leave the hotel at 7.45am. The school was probably a 10 minutesdrive away and once again, it pops outta nowhere, the school. We turned into an alley that had a sign " Kuang Jen High School " out front and before we knew it, we were looking at the green field and darkened buildings of the school. It's really quite sad that the government there doesn't do much refurbishing. The school has a 200 year history behind them and it's seen pretty much on the walls of the school. Cracklines going all the way across the room from ceiling to floor, cabinets with broken doors and creaking hinges, cobwebs in lurking corners ... very minimal care D: I thank God for the PAP and MOE.

Nevertheless, this did not dull our spirits! We looked forward to the exchange as well as the Master Class with their conductor - Mr ???. The percussionists were " strategically " located at the end of the room on the left so it was kinda hard to strain our ears to listen to what the conductor was saying and what the heck his name is. We tried moving forward to no avail so we just let it be. We played only one piece under his baton - Japanese Graffiti VI. It's pretty sad that we went there during their examination period so we didn't have much time to explore the school facilities and know each other more. BUT! they are spectacular there Taiwanese. Absolutely brilliant ((: I am glad I came for this exchange. Indeed an eye-opener to the true Taiwan.

As you can see in the photographs, we had a heap of fun in Taiwan. On Lovers' Bridge at Fishermen's Wharf, lovers actually have to hold hands to cross the bridge otherwise they'd break up and it's been tested many times over! Anyhoos, the place was windy, cold and picturesque. See our fun shots? That is how windy the place was - Like winter in London.

We didn't get to go into Taipei 101 coz' we've gotta pay for the tickets but it was fun still, just lying to the pokey grass across the building tryn' to get a full shot of it. I got cramps just shifting angles and laughing do hard.

REPLAY!

hello world.

2008-06-09T06:33:00.000-07:00

i have finally decided to post here(:
haha.
been real busy of late studying for economics.

so far, i've completed 2 chapters of it and moving on to elasticity.
slow but steady progress ... i managed to catch up and amend my mistakes in the concepts of supply, demand, equilibrium and PPC. haha! candice is delight-ed

okok.
i'm too lazy to post photos but i'll do it anyway.
i think our jumpshots are super cool so yeahh.
gonna show you guys.

Days in Taiwan Part 1

2008-06-01T23:28:00.000-07:00

As the plane prepared for its decend from the skies, I could see the bright lights down below - parallel white ones, glowing warm orange ones and flashing red ones from the control tower. Somehow I felt comforted looking at them though we were feets away. It reminded me that I am home, finally in Singapore. Bright and sunny Singapore.

Adrenaline seeped through my veins as the plane made a gentle dive downwards. My hair stood at its ends as the lights grew closer and closer towards us. The plane rumbled and shook as turbulence took over but it soon ended at the wheels of the aeroplane met with the concrete flooring of the landing site at Terminal 3. It came to a stop alittle after the pilot stepped on the brakes and once again, another successful landing by SIA.

The pilot welcomed us back and announced that the doors are open for exiting. I heaved a sigh of relief and grabbed my stuff from the compartment overhead and headed for the exit to collect my baggage.

It might be very silly for a seasoned flyer like me still feel excited about landing into Singapore but I tell you, the comfort you feel when you're back in your motherland is tremendously overwhelming. I always look forward to the descend when I come home from overseas.

The Taiwan trip was an enriching one as it opened my eyes to the treasures of the world.

Taiwanese are actually really nice people. They are not the fighting cocks you see on the telly in court. They certainly are not the people you see on Taiwanese variety shows like Jacky Go!Go!Go! If he had a chance to not exaggerate the talk shows he do, I am sure he would take it up in a split second. All in the name of entertainment, he has to make the shows as exaggerated and as ass-whooping as possible. But he really isn't like that in real life.

To cut the long Ah-Ma story short, I will put up the nicer pictures I took during the trip. There are still some more photos I haven't gotten yet so bear with the lack of variety for now(: there's alot jumpshots we took throughout the trip. I'll show them to you guys later on when I manage to snatch them from Jess((:

Taipei City, Taiwan

Taiwan - 15 hours to go.

2008-05-27T06:38:00.000-07:00

Another 15 hours and I will be on SQ878 to Taipei City, Taiwan. Boy, am I not excited. I think the hype would only come at the airport. It happens. As I said before, degeneration. Moreover, I'm a pretty experienced flyer so the kick isn't there anymore for taking a plane. All I hope for is that the screen would work this time so I can watch my " Enchanted " in peace(":

Met up with the girls today for a farewell dinner. Haha, the discussion was funny. Sing called me a pink berry. Oh wells, that's how I am with people who don't appreciate others what, you should know me. HAHA.

I am done packing for Taiwan. I can't believe I skipped lessons today and I am still awake. I was suppose to be in bed now. But my uniform isn't ironed yet): going to iron it later.

My eyes hurt.
I'm logging off.
See you in 5 days and 3 hours!

A big mess left uncleaned turns into a bigger mess

2008-05-26T08:42:00.000-07:00

current situation: you can't see my blog titles):

One ft. JiSun - Epik High

this is my new craze.

bigbangepikhigh

haha.
i know it doesn't make sense to most of you but the important thing is that i understand(:

I woke up this morning only to find out that my Taiwan trip is in 2 days and I have not packed. Surprisingly, I did not panic. Neither did I worry. I went about as usual, brushing my teeth and going to school for PW.

I guess as time goes by and people grow older, their priorities and worries change drastically. I used to pack 2 weeks in advance for camps and trips and I would keep unpacking and repacking to see if I had missed anything out. Mom would always walk past me and crease her brows together and let out a sigh. " She's at it again " She'd think. But I guess she got used to it after my first 3 camps and let me to my antics.

I got back home at 10pm today and started slowly taking things out of the ordinary and stuffing them item by item into the red duffel bag I managed to dig out of the store room. After painstakingly pulling the things I need out from wherever they were, I only filled a third of the duffel, leaving my poor purple room in a big mess. A mess that has been left untouched for a million years and now it had just turned into a bigger mess.

I hate messes. They make me feel unorganised and dirty): but the thing is, despite being the neat freak I am, the laziness in me overcomes the desire to clean thus I actually live with the mess until it becomes stagnent and starts to bother my eyes - literally. All the dust and dirt starts forming and Candice's eyes starts to water and itch a whole lot. That's when I pull myself away from the Lazy and pick up the vacuum. After sweating, sniffing and cussing, I feel better because my room is clean(: then I sleep.

" Hello Taiwan, this is Singapore and I am very nice to meet you. "
A random thought just popped into my head. People in school writes like this and I would get throughly disgusted. Like Mdm Koh, I turn all dramatic and feel like reverberating blood. The Board would come up with awards for the teachers and then force the students to write a page long essay about a particular teacher they like. Some would write out of inspiration and love for the teacher but some plainly don't give a damn and write about some random person they don't like. " I like Ms/Mr XXX because she/he is interesting. " That's all you write to get the teacher to win an award? Why don't you put just write" Ms/Mr XXX " and save us the trouble of bleeding to death. I am digressing so I will go back to the topic now(: How I got to know about this problem is through mass networking. Being a Vice in the Board would mean that you have to connect exceptionally well with anyone and everyone around you. I get privileges like walking freely in and out of the Staffroom like firms in a perfect competition. I also have to do things like read horrid essays and laugh my time away trying to figure out what in the world people are attempting to put across by writing in such poor English and bad sentence structures.

I am not being mean, I am stating the facts like it is - cold and hard. I am sure my teachers would agree with me on this.

HAHA.
Oh Tablo.
Oh Mithra.
(:
I can finally go and sleep.
Good Night World.
See you again tomorrow!

" Am I Fat "

2008-05-25T07:18:00.000-07:00

" Am I fat? "
" No, you're just full-figured. You have curves in the right places "
HAHA, Tay Ping Hui is hilarious.
FD then rebutted saying " Full-figured? If I were a woman, I'd think that I have a big butt "

O.O

this was merely a poke in the rib.
here's the killer ...

" I have a question about handbags. Why do women always ask their boyfriends to hold their handbags? "

FD: " Let me ask you women, handbags are meant to be your accessory right? Why does it end up being your boyfriend's accessory? "
Eunice: " okay okay, let's say your girlfriend wants to go to the toilet and she asks you to carry herbag would you? "
FD: " No. There's a hook in the toilet right? Just hook it up! "
Glenn: " Yes. "
Ping Hui : " No. It just looks wrong "

HAHA.

General Paper, Mugs and Paper Cups

2008-05-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

i have a feeling i would want to do on Censorship tomorrow.
i had at first decided on Mass Media but then, halfway through my shower, I felt a prompting to study Censorship as well. Looks like our dear GP rep's doing the same topiiic(: telepathy.

anyways, he comes to school at 7.30 every morning.
he has breaks after mine on thursdays.
his class is on the fourth floor.
his math teacher is my band teacher and i really hope he doesn't see this.
to you, i'm not trying to stalk you.
you just happen to be there.
haha.

Back to happy things today ...
today, we finally had a CF.
hahaha.
dear wilfred wanted to meet us before the holidays sets in.
it was really good today although i missed all the action going on at the cafe.
the Lord my Abba and Adonai will always be there for me to guide me through my circumstances and lead me back to His destiny for me(:

we then had a really interesting Chemistry lesson.
Mr Lee brought back many happy memories of my childhood and times in Chemistry 101, YI.
he first went through tutorials for Organic Chem and then we played with bubbles(:
instead of pink Johnson and Johnson hand sanitisers, we had mama lemon :
it was initially very hard to blow the bubble because of the lack of surface tension.
he then added sugar into the solution and then it became surprisingly easy to blow up a bubble(:
he kept the mystery of WHY it was so easy for discussions on the forum page }: typical. pssssh~

we decided to go for dinner at lot one and mr lee agreed to go along.
BUT, there's always a downside.
apparently, when you get older, you tend to degenerate in energy level.
he went into The Helm and said ... " I'm tired. Not joining you all. Bye. "
HAHA.
typical.
pssssssh~

but cotton on was fun(:
samuel and his silly antics,
jia hao's stick thin sexy legs,
lynn and me laughing like two idiots at the two guys,
gabri venting anger on the phone for twenty minutes.
i think he was really pissed.
darylene and pei rong should be used to it i guess.
hope you're alright dear friend )":

chicken wing!
off to mug with my metal cup.
see ya!

Vesak Day

2008-05-19T01:28:00.000-07:00

candice has just finished doing up her atomic structure notes.
now moving on to doing chemical bonding!

Now in this life,
As I walk these streets
Love opened my eyes, showed me what You see
And I know,
I'll never let You go

I still feel remorse and pity for the victims of the cyclone and earthquake.
My well wishes goes out to all the familes who have lost a loved one;
the Lord is forever with you and will take care of them.
For those who call upon His name shall sit at His right hand and rise up like the eagles(:

Through these disasters, I realized that the End is really drawing near as the year comes to a close. It's scary but I am comforted to know that He is raising a whole new generation - the Benjamin generation to seek and save the lost and dying world out there. As I read the papers today ( yes I did now give me some credit okay ) I saw how Buddhists in Singapore are able to freely display their acts of prayer and worship to Buddha. They have a big temple that is not discriminated by others but instead appalled and encouraged across the island. It made me very sad. Why is it that they can freely build without condemnation the things of Buddha but we cannot build freely the House of God here in this nation? Instead, we have to shroud ourselves behind the disguise of a shopping mall to conduct our services.

Then the Lord told me that like the veil of the temple that covers the Holy of Holies from the outside world, the Church of the modern day is like the Holy of Holies veiled by disguises so that those who seek Him and accept Him, their eyes will be unveiled to the truth. Not that other religious teachings are false but Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship. We should not confound ourselves to the ways of the world because we are in this world but not of this world in any way. He then went on to say that someday, even though right now, many are bowing down to idols and gods, they will see that He is the I am and the Forever. They will see the rising generation - the BENJAMIN generation taking their undeserved, unmerited places at the Mercy Seat at the Father's right hand. And they will know what they've been missing out on all these years. Those who accept the love of Christ, their tears will be wiped away by His tender hands for in Heaven, all is like the unfallen world - where death no longer reigns, sickness and poverty
put under His feet, sorrow is overwhelmed by joy and SKII has no place and no use there(:

I can't wait.
I can't wait for the coming of my Saviour,
my Kingsmen Redeemer,
my Best Friend,
my white christmas!

Mr D.

2008-05-15T01:45:00.000-07:00

mood: ^ ^

reason: ...

hello(:

i'm on the school laptop nauu.

apparently, it's on this silver table top that moves around very ... you just feel like the computer's going to fall anytime:

NARI'S GOING TO SEOUL.

i will too! soon ... next year ... i hope ...

aii~

today's economics test killed my morale totally mians.

i just hope to get double digits this time:

i think my posts are very not coherent.

i type in mini paragraphs that affects my essay writing alot.

i shall now type in proper english - GP style to pass my GP paper in a week's time(:

I don't know when but i seem to like the letter "D" alot. My recent obsessions' names start with a " D " HAHA. Dae Sung, Mr D ... Oh Lord, save me(: Anyways, back to my day. I was really sad today. After the test, I was in no mood whatsoever. I think it affected Fiqah, I'm sorry. I wasn't y usual ol' jolly self. It's like ... depression in a happier, more cheerful way - my feelings today. I feel very very disappointed with myself because I've been failing every test I have. It's not what I expect from myself since the start of th year and MYEs start next week! * sighs * I wonder if coming here was a good thing in the first place.

I was very elated when Mrs Wee called me and told me I could come into PJC as long as I stick to the band wholeheartedly. 10 years or not, I was hopeful and passionate about coming to college. The Lord helped in many ways too like setting the band up for me ( shortage due to ineffecient allocation of resources ) and making sure that I had the right connections to get me in ( dear uncle ). Now, I feel like I'm sinking. Sinking under a pile of Chemistry TYSes, Math Assignments, Economics Essays and getting papercuts and bruises:

CANDICE, get back on your two feet!

I was showering and scolding myself yesterday. I told Daddy that I give up trying. Either force me to stop doing things out of self efforts or stop making me do things out of my self efforts. I wanted to cry, but the tears just refused to fall )": oh wells, i am just really tired of trying and trying but not getting any results. " Lean on Me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend forever " this song just popped up(:

Thinking of you and You(:

show me how to L O V E like YOU have loved me

2008-04-27T02:37:00.000-07:00

mood: hungry
reason: didnt eat lunch

i'm indulging in an unhealthy packet of ring snack just before dinner.
And while I am doing that, I am mugging for chemistry.
I have learnt that ...

1. the nucleus of an atom is actually positively charged and NOT neutrally charged due to the presence of protons.

2. the bulk mass of the atom comes from the nucleus while the bulk volume comes from ... most likely the empty spaces in the atom.

3. the correct formula of relative atomic mass is actually mass of 1 atom/ 6.02x10^23

4. SG wannabe's name came about due to the trio wanting to become like Simon and Garfunkel from the US. (okayy, so i went online after all)

5. The empirical formula we learnt in secondary school is actually pretty redundant nauu. it's actually the whole number ratio of different elements of the P.T.

candice is officially more intelligent by 2%(:

today's service was awesome.
darlene zschech led worship with Angie baby, Shawn and Joy(:
awesomest time of worship manz(:
hosanna suddenly appealed alot to me today.

I see the king of glory
Coming down the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Chorus
Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

Verse 2
I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a new revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Bridge
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

Hosanna
Credits: http://www.lyricstime.com/hillsong-united-hosanna-lyrics.html

the bolded part is where it all made more sense.
we have alot of things in our heart - unseen by human eyes, that is really ... "immoral" as I would say.
Greed, Lust and Caution (lmao) ...
no one really knows what is in our hearts, only God.
It's hard to get rid of those thoughts and emotions, only He can.

" Heal my heart and make it clean "
Heal my heart from all the pain and suffering and make it clean from all the sins and desires of the world.

" Open up my eyes to the things unseen"
Open my eyes to see the things in the supernatural.
Open my eyes to see the Word; veil torn apart.

" Show me how to love like You have loved me "
Teach me to love others as Christ has loved the church

" Break my heart for what breaks Yours "
Teach me compassion as You were compassionate.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours - all the lost and dying souls of the last generation

" Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause. As I walk from earth to eternity"

I wept silently as the music echoed the overflow.
it dawned on me that I havent learnt how to love others as He has loved me.
I realized how much He loves me, so much so as to die for me and He would willingly, at my expense, go to the cross again to die for my sins and lawless deeds.
The simplest understanding of love is how the Lord has loved us.
That is most probably the only thing I need to understand to know the Lord inside out.

My life is in YOUR hands.
I submit all that I am, all that I have, into YOUR hands.

TIME MANAGEMENT

2008-04-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

this is an announcement:
candice will officially stop using the computer for 2 weeks to study.
i need to catch up on everything going on and finish my tutorials.
your support is GREATLY appreciated.

Just a little extras ...

EVENT: PJC Symhonic Band Performance
DATE: 1 May 2008
VENUE: Istana Park
TIME: 4pm

There is no country for old men.
The world needs to see the reality of an ageing population and stand up for what is right.
The government should work hand in hand with the people to support the elderly here in SG.
True, taxpayers will have to work harder but money isn't everything.
You do not have to give everything you freaking own to the government.
Keep your undershorts, give voluntarily and freely.
Support an elder and make Singapore an age-friendly environment!

the Repetoire of my life

2008-04-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

mood: writer's overflow
reason: just reason.

the REPETOIRE of my life

After seventeen years of living on planet Earth.
I often wonder to myself - why am I here?
Pondering about the key to Life and Life itself, I realised one point.
I can classify Life - mine in particular as a repetoire; pretty much inspired by my performance this May.

For a musician like me:
Life is like a score.
The treble or bass clef would tell you the gender of the musician.
For me, I'm a treble clef(:
High pitch and the complicated specie.

The key signature would tell you the beat of the song; the rhythm
Whether in 4s or in 2s or even in 8s.
The different experiences I have tells me the individual key signature of my scores in the repetoire of Life.
Anger, sense of loss, victory, defeat, hatred, love, fluster, anxiety ...
The more adreneline rush, the quicker the rhythm.

The notes in the score ... the fluctuating emotional rollercoaster ride.
sometimes tied together for quick relief, sometimes extended into another bar for prolonged hurt or delight.
sometimes crescendo for outburst, sometimes decrescendo for revoke.

Coda is for dejavu or a repeated event.
Like habits or school.
It's routinely and happens one too many times in the score.
You want to get rid of it but it just keeps coming back.
You just have to endure till it just comes to the finale.

sigh.
i can give up blogging altogether like this.
i am tired.
my eyes are drooping.
i must watch the GREAT.
see you(:

red and green patches

2008-04-22T01:50:00.000-07:00

mood: hyper
reason: the only reason to go high is BIG BANG ^^

lmao.
okay, guess what,
i am using the SCHOOL's laptop in the LIBRARY
you will never find me EVER using a school laptop in the library, EVER.
moreover, the library! who goes there so often?
ierno.

anyhoos,
DONG has decided to post something on the thread which is good
because it makes people known to other people and you get to know more about each other and spazz about BIG BANG.
hahaha.
why is candice using so much caps today?
because she is hyperly happy(:

i am well and alive enough to go to school today.
the Lord was good enough to let it pour today
so daddy sent me to school (i nearly typed work - i miss ducktours)
my fever's gone, my flu's gone.
i'm only left with a very sore throat.
momo says i gotta drink moar water which i hate alot.
i hate the taste of chlorine and minerals.
bleughh~

anyway, today's lessons were pretty interesting.
i found out that Mr Lee taught ahead of time for chemistry so that we dont need to rush ourselves to finish Chemical Bonding(:
thanks alot sir!
also, economics teacher was funny(:
during the extra lessons, she was like acting cute luhhh.
flapping her hands to show that producers buy more goods to supply buyers.
it's not funny here but if you see what i saw,
i swear, it's funny like ... funny(:

okay
time's up
better go assess my PI.
see yous laters!

ohh!
hangeul lessons end next week.
i need money for advanced!

38.1 degrees

2008-04-20T20:22:00.000-07:00

mood : dizzy, nauseous
reason : fever pitch monday

yesterday's temperature was 38.9 degrees.
i am sooooooo missing out on stuff in school.
i need to finish my PI today luhhhh~

T-T

watched the GREAT again this morning.
i love the effects of the stage mans.
so pretty, lights and all.

i need to finish my patch, raise 30 bucks by tmr.
i've got $20 now.
epik high, big bang, here i come(:

E-Learning day 2008

2008-04-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

aiii~
the server's down.

so far, i've finished [/] of my assignments
1. chemistry atomic structure - COMPLETED!
2. GP mass media quiz - COMPLETED!
3. PW online quiz - LAGGING
4. chinese worksheet on Baba - COMPLETED!
5. chemistry lecture on chemical bonding
- part one
- part two
- part three
- part four
6. economics assignment essay
7. CSE assignment essay

meanwhile:
happy news!

Epik High vol. 5 - Pieces, part one
release date : 21/4
price : SGD$19.oo

shopping

2008-04-14T19:08:00.000-07:00

mood : i want to shop ... NAUUU!
reason : no reason. i just feel the urge after seeing clothes(:

pretty hoodies(:
i waaaant.

with you.

2008-04-13T02:17:00.000-07:00

mood : jelly
reason : aiii~ global warming concert tour.

waii daedae waii.
i wanna go to the global warming concert in bangkok!

2 loves one heart.

2008-04-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

mood: depressed.
reason: why wont anybahhdee take mahh duck?

drats.
i should have told him i can't
but i can't predict the future.
1. my brother's coming home tomorrow.
2. i'm having bad aches, so much so i can't walk proper.
3. i'm working tmr

call this a good day eh?
oh wells, at least i got on the early train today.

i was suppose to be at the doctors' today to get some muscle relaxant.
instead, i stubbornly headed BACK to school after returning home for band.
i couldn't bend forward, neither could i kneel.
aiii~ life sucks when you don't exercise|:
please APPA, make someone take my place tomorrow.
anyone.

i understand chemistry like i did in secondary school.
i thank God for such a good brain(:
i am starting to like economics although my hand always hurts after writing the outline of the essays she gives.
i thank God for a great teacher like ms loh.
i love maths even though i can't do a simple problem like 7^(y+1) = 0.52
i thank God for another great teacher like ms lim
i understand every word my mandarin teacher is saying.
i thank God for the B3 at the O levels.

spending time with God makes you wonder why you're living on this earth, why you're born this way and why do you always make the same mistakes over and over again until someone tells you off and you cry.

EDITS: JOANNA - NA - NA has blogged about me twice! (: i think i can make names for people D8

CHRIST-My-Awesome-Saviour

2008-04-10T04:51:00.000-07:00

mood: itchy.
reason: i haven't bathed D8

today was a bad day.
why? because i forgot to bring my photo for the band form and i can't hand it in.
my apologies to shi jie|:

anyhoos,
it was another day of suicide because mr yau made us do jumping with weights.
think it's easy?
think again.

we were at the straight portion of the track where there were indications on the floor.
it was really hot today also even though it was 4pm in the evening.
round one: jump with weights in hand, swinging arms up above your head to create momentum and jump.
round two: jump with weights in hand this time trying to jump as far as you can. guys to completely pass the line within 4-5 jumps. girls 5-6 jumps.
round three: put the weights down and jump as far as possible. boys to complete in 3-4 jumps. girl 4-5 jumps.

my limbs became completely limp.
like jelly.
yikes.
we then had to do our 1.6 km run with a twist.
for every bend we come to on the track, we're suppose to jog slowly.
so we started at the bend.
for the first straight portion of the track, we're suppose to take long strides and for the second parts, we're suppose to sprint.
after completing my first round, my legs refused to cooperate and they started to act on their own.
i spazzed D8
so mr yau told me okay, just run 3 rounds - slow jog.
hip hip hurray.
but it still hurt.

and so this was how i got my hurting legs and thighs.
the price to pay to becoming slim and fit):

HA!
china studies was the funnest today.
we were drawing on each other's hands.
i drew on joanna's and she on mine.
i also drew on amalina's and syafiqah's hands.

PICTURE TIME!

this one writes amalin's so pretty, amalin's very pretty!
syafiqah's random randomness.

this one states : candyce (the pretty one in blue)
then candice kangdaesung sarang (in faded pink)
and finally SNSD and tell me! (the small ones in silver)

amalina's hand states: candice loves ama!
i was lazy to write amalina so i wrote ama in short.
she frowned.
then i asked if she wanted me to spell her name in full.
she said she's okay with ama.
then i told her it means grandma in chinese.
she paused for a brief period and said " i prefer ama. "
hahaha!
this makes me love ama moar(:

fiqah, cancan and ama!

a better photo of us(:

this is china studies in english ( CSE ) in reality.
you can see many heads tilting to a side or completely splat on the table like this ...

voila!~

fiqah taking her writing very seriously ^^

i love 08S32 =D

after school, we all met up for C.F
was pretty uncertain at first about meeting up for fellowship since ... well, i'm pretty biased about NCC(:
but i went anyways and i thank God i did.
He made me realized that it's not the church that makes the people really and that i shouldn't judge others by the church or the beliefs they hold coz' when it comes right down to it, we're all God's children.
i liked what was shared today about spending time with appa.
i suddenly felt that i really spend more time with my friends and school than with the one who loves me the most and who has always been there for me when i needed someone.
i felt so bad luhhh~
but then again, He told me that you know even though homework, school and friends are important, they are things of the world and though we are IN this world but we're not OF this world so even though they all start to pile up like homework for instance, we should still spend time with our Lord coz' it is in Him that rest comes and with rest comes infinite productivity as proven scientifically.
i shall do my best to spend time with appa coz' if not He'll keep waiting for me and that's vair vair rude, to stand people up like that|:

project work submission in ... 15 hours

2008-04-09T06:32:00.000-07:00

mood: hot.
reason: summer day in singapore

it is in the evening and the temperature has gone up a notch.
this way, i would rather install an AC system in my room and get sinus every morning than sweat buckets in my sleep.

on to happy things.
my room is messy and cramped because my pretty dressing table is here!
it's white and it comes with a sliding mirror for me to put crap behind it on the shelves!
time to clean up my room.
i see hair and dirt all over the place D8\

buns and paper.

2008-04-08T02:05:00.000-07:00

mood : moody
reason : i am hungry D:

hello blog again.
today is a happy day for me.
why?
because i wore my yong yong's bun at school today.
people just don't understand.
it's a fashion statement!
it's good to be different coz i DARE to be so(:

anyhoos, tomorrow's the day of our green bazaar!
whoppy!
we're selling stuff from ziyang and gang.
some were pretty cute.
some were plain useless.
some were ... stuffs.
haha.
anyhoos, if you are from PJC, please do come down and give your moral or financial support!
everything collected will go to our class funds.
haha which is pathetically empty.

everyone is sore.
the theatre seats made the pain worse.
my shoulders are breaking.

my attempts at making this post longer had officially failed.

100%

2008-04-07T07:03:00.001-07:00

mood : tired.
reason : PE.

limbs and eyes are drooping like vines on a tree.

today's PE was practically torture.
we survived hell and came back.
oh maii geez.

basketball shuttleruns under a minute and a half,
50 inclined pull ups aided by benches ( if you call that aided ... )
swooning and puking classmates.
maii geez.

big bang- WG parody with the SGvips(:
love is ... big bang.
please stop spamming about dong bang on YGBB

humorous no?

2008-04-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

i realized i just humoured myself.

me : my boyfriend's the president of oklahoma

she : my boyfriend's the future president of united states.

me: my boyfriend's an astonaut from outer space and he won't be back in our lifetime.

me : as good as not having one.

she : yea, and why would you want that?

me : coz i think it's so cool like he shows you pictures of mars and broccolli powder.

she : broccolli? why broccolli?

me : coz they can't grow veggies in space and so they have instant ones.

me : i for one have NEVER seen instant veggies.

she : okayy ... funnnyyyy.

me : so sarcastic. can't you just humour me like ha.ha. omg candice you should just do stand ups.

i am seriously in need of a life.

muscle cramping.

2008-04-04T07:16:00.000-07:00

mood : minty.
reason : toyoko patch on arm and shoulders.

the gym is a good place for workouts.

but not when you overexert yourself and end up with lemony limbs.
my limbs are sore and soury.

i learnt to use the machines at the gym for various kinds of stretches and for training specific muscles.
looking good in heels takes ALOT of work.
so does a flat tummy.
you have to do about 70 sit-ups twice a week and soon enough, in about a month or 2, you'll have an awesome flat tummeh!
sadly, the gym training sessions are only temporal.
we're in our NAPFA term so ... running, running and ... more running.
YUCK.

meeting the SG VIPS tmr for lunch! at 12pm for the screening of THE GREAT
there's also the REVOLUTION meeting at 1.20pm
then ARROW at 4.30 pm

sighs.
candice is very busly lately.
jam packed weekend again i guess.

* owww *
back ache.

of all

2008-04-03T05:37:00.000-07:00

mood : full
reason : pizza hut(:

momo's feeling happy today(:
she insisted we order pizza hut tonight.
i feel elated.
haha.

she misses my brother so much(:

way away away from here i'll be in 250983745 years.(:

i have revised economics.
there is a test tomorrow on demand, supply, central problems and equilibrium.
i think i will do well.
no, we WILL do well(:

there is also a math test coming up next monday.
i am not prepared for that.
there's also an economics lecture test next wednesday.
that one's alright.
just need revision and more revision.

i have learnt logarithms, GC functions, indices, inequalities and graphs.
i realized A math is much easier than E math.
i should have taken A math.
drats.

gabri says i'm very literature.
i guess so.
i am a drama person.
" love not reciprocated is not love at all "
lmao.
please stop it.

i'm breaking out.
seeya!

life after uniforms

2008-04-01T07:49:00.000-07:00

mood : really sleepy.
reason : had a looooong day today, ending with korean lessons with Mrs Shim.

aye.
what comes after life of uniforms?
life with more uniforms.

Junior College.
A paraphrase of high school;
The phase before varsity yet a milestone away.
i must do well enough and more.
NTU - biomedical science and TCM or! mass communications,
here I come!

milo milo milo.
i am ranting about milo.
this brown substance placed in a mug before me.
why.
why.
why.
i am having a sore throat nau and i'm drinking this piping hot mug of milo milo milo.

i am nonsensical now.
lest' your eyes bleed, click the red X on the top right hand corner of the screen.

bangkok.
why must you be this way?
big bang, come to SG instead.
we're clean and green with 3 huge stadiums.
the big one's over there ( points to kallang )
the other one is over there! ( the outdoor stadium - currently being demolished )
and the youth one, is over there! ( points to youth stadium at unknown location )

music now : corinne may's beautiful seed.

You can fill the darkness
With just one flash of light
Break the silence with just one word
One defiance starts a revolution
One life can save the world

On the steps of Washington
Sprinkled like confetti
Thousands of people sing
" We will overcome "
The preacher shouts:
" Let freedom ring "
He gave his life for what he believed

You can be a witness
You can be a prophet
You can make the whole world believe
Break the strongest fortress
change the way the world thinks
You can build a bridge where
foes can meet
Hope for the future
Shout it, don't whisper
Dreams are what we make them to be
There's hope in every heartbeat
Tiny as it seems
You're a beautiful seed

She's a pastor's daughter
She's only 16
But her heart and belly
are beaking at the seams
Her boyfriend blames her
He wants to pay
for the doctor to wash it away

She lays in the hospital
A Christmas choir is singing
About a child in a manger
Fragile and small
" Unto us is born a Saviour "
She looks at her baby and cries
As she sings him a lullaby

You can be a witness
You can be a prophet
You can make the whole world believe
Break the strongest fortress
change the way the world thinks
You can build a bridge where
foes can meet
Hope for the future
Shout it, don't whisper
Dreams are what we make them to be
There's hope in every heartbeat
Tiny as it seems
You're a beautiful seed

Every hope, every power
lies in the heart if a seed that flowers
Intertwined all across the land
we're all seeds in the Maker's hands

FAT.
that's how i feel now.
it's just a girl thing.
i know i'm not.
it's just sometimes, we feel that way.

TGIF.

2008-03-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

mood : mad.
reason : convo.

i think i can go mental at this rate.

thank GOD it's friday.
it's been such a hectic time this week.
chemistry's piling up.
math is still hanging somewhere,
economics is ... rushing somewhere.

i am going to need sooo much sleep.

going to the FUN O RAMA tmr!
will update pictures tomorrow(:
see ya!

good day bad day.

2008-03-27T02:25:00.000-07:00

mood : refreshed(:
reason : PE lesson.

I COMPLETED A WHOLE ROUND IN 2 MINUTES AND 1 SECOND(:
i feel achieved.

i think my classmates come from planet mars.
so many variations.
i'm pretty amused with all of them.
begin, the exploration of the human mind.

day out with benny and sing(:

2008-03-26T05:52:00.000-07:00

this is candice(:

this is shih sing(:

mood : moody
reason : cramped.

today was a tiring day as usual.
the scholars has a match of basketball with my school team.
so, the buddies (US) , instead of supporting our school team, we sighed when they scored a goal
and cheered when the scholars scored one goal which happened like .. 1/100000 times?
it wasn't just ONE person who sighed, it was ALL the girls.
and apparently, when the girl scholars played, no one came.
when the guys played, everyone was there to watch.
ch~ biased.

okay. i am aching so much i can't type so i'll put PHOTOS!

the " Heroic Rendezvous " exhibit at Suntec Convention Centre

days of our lives

2008-03-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

mood : nothing.
reason : ierno. i can't think of an emotion right now.

it's now the last day of my buddy's home stay.
lucky girl, she gets to go to NUS for her studies.
wish you all the best(:

chemistry is such a baaaad subject to choose.
ray, i prefer H2 economics over H2 chemistry.
at least i understand what's going on in econs.

to my best friends,
the days of our lives.
truly amazing how we all turned out.

i just want to say that this 2 years have been such an amazing journey.
how we became the best of friends, how much common interest we have, how much worry and fun we had together ...
it's been such an honour being friends with you guys ><

it's alright if you dont have a place.
there's still hope somehow because hope comes through you.
you have the power to decide your future.
you do not, i repeat, DO NOT have to abide by the ways of the world or your family to succeed.
so what if they come from prestigious schools?
so what if they graduated from universities elsewhere?
that does not determine their succession in life.
it is how happy a person is throughout the course of his life that determines his success.
don't worry about disappointing your parents or your family looking down on you.
they don't know how hard it is for students nowadays to overcome the O levels.
the standards of examinations has increased since past years
you are good at other things.
i'm sure you'll be able to find a good place to settle in.
no matter what we will all be behind you(:
wish you all the best.

" I will dwell in the secret place of The Most High and I will abide under the shadows of the Almighty. "

tipsy dipsy

2008-03-18T06:53:00.000-07:00

mood : loved.
reason : hands up, oh hands up~

Crazy Dog - 빅뱅

[Intro]

Let’s do it again uh let’s do it again I said

Let’s do it again, Bigbang let’s do it again let’s do it again like

몸을맡겨요 분위길 바꿔요 좌우로 흔들오 엉덩이를 흔들어

우리는 Crazy Dog-everybody in the place go woah~everybody in the place go woah-everybody in the place go~

hey hey girl what you want for me (ma) 새로운 세계로 come here (ma)
맛보지못한 특별한 (맛) 널 위해 준비했으니
기다리고기다리던 우리둘만의 시 (간) 아무말 마 일단 발을 들여 (놔)
들어올땐 니맘 나갈땐 내맘 눈을감아 네 머릿속에 휴식을 줄테니

[Chorus]

이 밤은 너무 길어 so get down 외로운 사람 모두 내게로와
리듬에 몸을실어 함께 달려보세 자 성큼성큼 다가와봐

[hook]
hands up go hands up go hands up let’s go let’s go oh oh oh
(rock ya’ll we gonna this party)
hands up go hands up go hands up let me say oh oh oh

hey hey 더 완벽해 비밀은 지킬래 그녀와의 something
난 빛을 가리는 커텐 어둠을 즐길테니 bang’em
내가 누군지는 알테고 달콤한 음색과 외모 오늘은 그대만의 hero
넌 알겠니 it’s the hot in here

밤새 구름위를 달려보자 올라타 oh ma god i’m so hot 난 좋아 이 젊음 다 태워 볼란다
hey 황홀한 밤을 원해요 hey 간절히 너를 원해요 hey 들리니 내 심장이 두근거림을 blahblahblah

[Chorus]

이 밤은 너무 길어 so get down 외로운 사람 모두 내게로와
리듬에 몸을실어 함께 달려보세 자 성큼성큼 다가와봐

[hook]
hands up go hands up go hands up let’s go let’s go oh oh oh
(rock ya’ll we gonna this party)
hands up go hands up go hands up let me say oh oh oh

몸을 맡겨요 분위길 바꿔요 좌우로 흔들어 너의 엉덩이를 흔들어
우리는 crazy dog everybody in the place go woah~ everybody in the place go woah~
everybody in the place go~

[break it dawn]
now movin yo movin just movin b to the i the g bang
(everybody dance now)

젊은이여 이 넓은 세상위로 이상을 펼쳐라 뜨거운 피로
당겨 맡겨 쉬지않고 달려 못 말려 더 높이 볼륨을 키워

C’mon, c’mon 벌써 멈추긴 아직 일러 목청이 터져라 크게 소리 질러
yoyoyo put your hands up high big bang in da house

이 밤은 너무 길어 so get down 외로운 사람 모두 내게로와
리듬에 몸을실어 함께 달려보세 자 성큼성큼 다가와봐

[hook]
hands up go hands up go hands up let’s go let’s go oh oh oh
(rock ya’ll we gonna this party)
hands up go hands up go hands up let me say oh oh oh

i can't access my college portal|:
i can't get my chemistry notes.
neither can i get my maths notes.

doom.

i haven't been eating much these past few days.
either i have no time or the food is tasteless.
i guess that's why i've been feeling so tired after i come home nowadays.
i should just pack sushi to school.
* sulk *

the length difference.

2008-03-17T07:00:00.001-07:00

oh mi gee.
i miss my long hair.

And the fun begins ...

2008-03-17T04:17:00.000-07:00

mood : greasy
reason : unwashed SHORT hair.

jerlynn was pretty surprised that i cut my hair.
she says i look cute(:

today marks the start of a new school term.
longer school hours,
shorter hours for lunch and breaks,
less time to go online.

today also marks the day when the scholars from China arrives at PJC.
they were really nice and ENTHU.
my scholar's name is Yuan Jing Jing and she's 19 this year.
an '89er too(:

she went around my classes and met my mates(:
awsm!~
i told her to be mentally prepared for this friday.
madness dae with cancan!

her pals left her in school|:
my lessons ended at 5pm today so she stayed for PE at 4 when she could go back.
i accompanied her to take her bosu - 188 back to the Labrador Lodge at Pasir Panjang.

I have to wake up early again tomorrow.
meeting at 7.30am at the concourse tomorrow to get introduced to the school.
WAHAA,
more recognition for moi~
see yaz!

stitching day!

2008-03-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

mood : tranced
reason : fizzy apple drink

love is ...

- a completed patchwork.
- a smiling daesung(:
- a happy, healthy big bang

today was a spectacular day with the SG VIPs!
we met up for the quilt project and it was very much a huge success
initially, we were all so quiet luhh.
but after a round of drinks and song big bang songs, we warmed up and talked ( alittle)
FINGER MOVE!

i will post up my patch as soon as i get my hands on the photo.
(:

this is the first time i've sewn something so good looking.
honestly, i can't sew.
never attempted a patchwork but experimented with my school skirt which ended up in a mess.

March Holidays? NOT D:

2008-03-13T18:44:00.000-07:00

mood : fret
reason : holiday assignments

i have not finished my assignments.
math - left with exercise 2c.
economics - left with some real tough cookies.
chemistry - don't wanna talk about it.

><
okay, going to finish what's left of math.
SEE YA LATER!

* ^^ COLLECTING MY BIG BANG PLANNER 2008 LATER AT 2.30! *

how have you been, dong bang?

2008-03-13T05:31:00.000-07:00

mood : nostalgic
reason : *cries*

i cannot tell you how much i miss this darn face.

it has been such a long time, yunho.
how have you been?

gosh, i sound like a sick idiot talking to someone she will never meet.
anyhoos, it has been a real long time since i last listened to any of DBSK's songs.
recently, i met this girl in hangeul lessons.
she loves junsu.
then she gave me a link to the recent " Happy Together " episode with 유재석 and 박명수 as MCs.
by golly, i feel so proud of myself for watching the boys from the beginning.
>< *sniff*

i guess my journey with them has been such a memorable one(:
i hope mine with Big Bang's will be the same.

happiness in a box

2008-03-10T20:37:00.000-07:00

mood: happy
reason : B-I-G-B-A-N-G let's dooooo it~

i am getting my big bang planner in 3 days(:
it was the last on at JK's and I MESSAGED HER IMMEDIATELY.
hahaha.

i am 3/4 ways through economics and math homework.
SO MANNYYYY! (T-T)
anyhoos, i still have a sheet of chemistry to do.
looks like i'll not have time to catch Leap Years with the girls anytime soon :
unless a miracle happens.

hello world!

2008-03-09T18:49:00.000-07:00

mood : upbeat
reason : Andy Lee - the FIRST new dream

it's a brand new day today.
the sun is shining, the birds are singing and candice is on the computer at ...10 am in the morning.
w-o-w.

my w-o-w factor is Jesus(:
it was very interesting yesterday.
not because of anything else but the love of my Lord.
Pastor was talking about the love of the Lord; how to apply it in your every day life.
he mentioned about enrolling his daughter into a very well sought-after school in his neighbourhood.
he said that they had to ballot for whom gets a place in the school so the principal asked who would want to start the ball rolling by picking the first 5 names from the box.
he immediately shot his hand up and went up front.
praying desperately hard to pick his girl's name, he was throughly disappointed when she wasn't called.
name after name, his heart sank deeper and deeper, so deep he couldn't find it. [LOL]
it was then, a song played in his mind " ... when i love you Lord Jesus is now " or something along that lines.
he questioned the Lord " If you love me, then show me now! ... when you love me Lord Jesus is now ... "
name after name ... finally, his daughter's name was called.
he walked out of the room and said " Oh the love of the Lord is good! "

he concluded with this.
we base the love of the Lord by feelings and circumstances.
ever wondered what he'd say if his daughter's name wasn't called?
does that mean He doesn't love him?

this is a very simple example of basing the Lord's love on nothing but the love of Christ.
if someone needs a reason to answer the question why do you love me then there has to be a reason why he doesn't love you.
He died because He loved us.
Why He loves us is because.

I felt that was so true because i am one who base things on reason and emotions.
so much so i even came to the point of placing the Lord's love on reasons and situations i face.

After the sermon, the IT show was on and i was running very late to a relative's wedding dinner.
i tried to move myself between the people there but it was still slow moving.
i called up my mom and told her i'd be late.
i kind of was real frustrated, i said some things. not vulgar. just a vent of frustration.
going down the (not moving) escalator, i regretted what i said and asked the Lord the same question " do you really love me that much? "
getting off the escalator, i saw the crowd at the escalator going down to Citilink mall.
i thought to myself how am i to reach Novotel in time?
TAXI!

i dashed toward the esplanade and caught a cab.
he was driving along the tiny roadway when he decided to make a u turn due to heavy traffic.
a lot of cars was against us because ... yeah. lazy to go into details much.
anyhoos, we managed to get out and when he was talking, it really felt like an angel of the Lord was speaking to me.
he was malay by the way and he was talking to me about the Lord. [??!]

anyhoos, i got there in 10 minutes or so and i tipped him for entertaining me along the way.
I also realized that the Lord uses such simple ways to show us how much He loves us.
Doing miracles is anoter thing altogether and H ecan do it for us but He chooses the simplest and subtlest of ways to show us His love - it's the EVERY DAY things that matter much.
performing miracles in our lives everyday will be too much of a drama anyways. (:

to quanxiang

2008-03-08T08:50:00.000-08:00

how in the world did you find me?

i know it's on tuesday,
it's a TYPO error.
so you've read my blog.
you have been warned.
do not say anything bad about korean pop groups.
otherwise ...

muahahaha!

* this post can be ignored. please do not take to heart what candice is typing here because she is tired and her ands and berain are not functioning in harmony. hands are mean to berain and berain is trying to fight back ...

going to sleep before i hurt myself and others.
quanxiang, i still need you to answer the first question though.
i was still sane then.
thank you!

2 days to March holidays

2008-03-06T01:32:00.000-08:00

mood : oily
reason : tapioca cake ><

wow.
time passes like a breeze.
it was January when I last checked.
now it's nearing the 1st term break!

this saturday is CG at Bobby's.
i am still sorting out my scheduler (PJC students handbook)
it's pathetic i tell you ...

hold on.

okay, actually i'm not as busy as i thought i would be.
i've only got band on [s]wednesday[/s] tuesday at 4
i can actually work for 4 days!
okay, minus the outing with Fil and gang.
that'll be 3 days(:
8 an hour X 6 trips X 3 = 134 dollars!
deal or no deal ... ?

picture spam!~

2008-03-03T04:36:00.001-08:00

This is BIG BANG

name: Ji Yong, Kwon
a.k.a G - Dragon
Solo Song : This Love

name : Seung Hyun, Choi
a.k.a TOP/ Tempo
Solo Song : Bad Boy

name: Dae Sung, Kang
a.k.a Doraesung/ Angel Smile
Solo Song : Keep Smiling

name: Young Bae, Dong
a.k.a Tae Yang
Solo Song : Ma Girl

name : Seung Hyun, Lee
a.k.a Seung Ri/ Maknae
Solo Song : Next Day

Closure of Term 1

2008-03-03T04:29:00.000-08:00

it's been a fulfilling term here at Pioneer Junior College.
the second orientation wasn't as much a success as the first but we managed to outdo ourselves on the last night.
friendships were bonded.
doubts were clarified much. (wei li is a J1 student!)
mistakes were realized and amended immediately and lastly, the dawning of new subjects; killer H2 chemistry ... jeng jeng jeng

the term has passed quickly.
soon it'll be the march holidays and we will be seperated officially into our new classes and start lessons already!

the Lord has blest me with chummies(:
thank you appa~
they're a bunch of mad girls but really sweet nonetheless and easy to get alot with.
we plan to ice skate and buy our backpacks this march
ha! and we said guys carrying the same bags were gay.
we're [s]lesbos[/s] adorable!!

BIG BANG

2008-03-02T00:13:00.000-08:00

mood: sleepy
reason: 3.2km cross country has drained my leg power and that has affected my brain.

can i not blog?
hahaha.
this is crap, candice.
since you're on blogger, JUST TYPE SOME WORDS.

today is sunday and every sunday, candice goes to church.
my brother and i watched a movie after service(:
it's been a loooooooong time.

movie title: meet the spartans
rate(plot-wise): 2
rate(comedy-wise): 4

there were some parts of the movie where things weren't really that funny.
some parts were just ... omg.
hahaha.
overall, the plot sucked.
really, there's no link to everything.
suddenly this guy who looked like a character in Borat appears as the ruler of Persia.
the queen of Sparta is a hot b**** and everything is so irrelevant.

HOWEVER, the movie is not a turn-off.
there were some parts that's funny.
the following quotes are for people who've watched the movie because only you will understand what i'm talking about ...

" there's only one woman you should listen to ... "
" Oprah? "
" No! Your wife! "
" Oh. Right ... (looks away with shifty eyes)"
LOL

" Surrender to us and give up your weapons! (?)"
" Come get them yourself! "

" I just ... (squeezes boobs) oh! Queen ----- ! "
" uh, duh? "
HAHAHA.

" I meant to do that! "

" Your momma's so hairy, the ony language she speaks is wooky! "
LMAO

okay, in short, to understand this, watch "Meet the Spartans" but first, watch "300" then you'll understand the story MUCH better to know why the Leonaidas keeps screaming "Spartans!"

candice made friends!

2008-02-25T23:15:00.000-08:00

mood : zomg
reason : look at the post title(:

haha.
okaaay, it's not that I have no friends at PJC ... it's just that they're not in my subject combi.!
so like, we all split after the orientation and who knows how many 125478903271802543 years till I see them again? it's so saddening you know ... ><

so, candice made friends from her subject combination!
and apparently 3 out of 6 of them are appealing to go to Biology. [bleughh]
when i saw the Bio notes from Aisyah, i freaked out luhh~!
even though i took pure Bio at sec 4, half the time throughout my lessons, i had no idea what my teacher was talking about. (yes, it's that bad - sulk) To think, it was my favourite subject at sec 3!

Today was a very relaxed day [also].
I had ... GP, China Studies and Chinese mass lectures.
There was also a compulsory audition for Choir and apparently I am short-listed.
HA. pity, i am taken by the Symphonic Band of PJC already ><

so, in short, about my lectures ...
General Paper - reading reading reading and more reading about politics and the death of importnt people.
China Studies - urmm ... no idea yet. hahaha.probably reading too since my notes are like 43589743657400964745 feet tall ...
Chinese - i understand actually what the teacher was talking about! (applause) BEES! (cricket noise) and how humans actually benefit from them and their honey and how far they've gotta travel just to make 1 kg of honey (like 11 times around the world) (cheers)

China Studies sounded very promising and inspirational, i thought.
the lecturer - Mr Koh was beating around the bush about CS but still, it was a very fun expedition around the bush. I actually learnt a lot of facts about China!
I must add a little bore around here ...
1. the great wall is 2400 km long.
2. putin and bush has been on the wall before.
3. from outer space, you can see the great wall. hence making it the only man made architecture that can be seen from space [watch out aliens ... we might just spell a dirty word with a wall ...]
4. China is 9.5 million square kilometres large
5. learning tamil and chinese can help you conquer the world. half the world's population is here in Asia [India and China]
6. the silk coats that was made for the leaders during a meeting in beijing costs 50,000 SING dollars which is equals to 250, 000 RMB
7. i learnt who deng xiao ping is. hahahaha!
and a lot a lot more ... ><

SO! he was talking about how we gotta keep real quiet so that he can continue on the lecture. he says that we are in a room with echos so he can hear murmuring and he hopes that it comes from us, not the shadows on the wall when you turn off the lights. hahaha! ghosts. then he kept going on and on about the shadows like there's alot of them in the room and when you turn the lights off, you can see them on the curtains and walls. hahahaha!
As he carried on to China, he mentioned that they are a country that is fully capitalized so this was his example : " You all know the Edison Chen scandal right? In America, they might not have heard of this scandal but in China, ha ha ha, i heard they already have the DVDs and i think in Blu-Ray." zomg! we laughed of course. Then he continued with his slides and we came across some women wearing bridal gowns and apparently one of them had a tattoo on. So he said this " See, cecilia cheung also got a tattoo." we boo-ed him. In his defence he said " No, i didn't watch. My friend told me. Even got 2 ah!" ZOMG. super funny lar he!

anyhoos, i enjoyed my school time today(:
Rosie said i grew!
hahahahahahahah~
that made my day(:
candice grew!

my first day of ... lectures

2008-02-25T03:19:00.000-08:00

mood: drained
reason: ~~school~~ lectures

it's technically my first day of real school today and i am dead-beat.
although the day was short, i am tired nonetheless.
the day started with me waking up at 6am for college.
my dad offered to send me to school as he had to send Justin to the airport.

he's flying off to good ol' shanghai for his internship at some university whose name he can't remember O:

anyhoos, i arrived at 7am.
the campus was pretty much deserted so i went to the canteen to read my book - suite francaise
the place filled up and soon, the announcement was made for us J1s to assemble along with the rest of the school.
we did and the flag raising was somewhat ... grand.
the leaders were standing at a side and you can actually hear people reciting the Pledge!
my goodness, i am impressed ((:
the assembly ended off with a few important announcements and off we went for our next assembly - talks and more talks.
we were seated in our OG lines and that was when we realized the school skirt is so inconvenient.
it's so hard to sit on the floor compared to the flair skirts we had in secondary school.
welcome to adulthood ... ladies at the office don't sit on floors by the way (sulk)

the ODAC talked about their fruitful trip to the Philippines and how they helped the GK (Gawada Kalinga or something like that) rebuild the lives of Filipinos there.

I was so touched when the children were dancing to a Hillsongs song! It really is heart-settling to know that despite the situation they're in, they still have the Lord in mind.

our legs were cramping during their ~~droning~~ speech. it was soon over and we headed to the different locations for our lectures. PJC is officially huge. Never in my life have I gotten lost in a school campus. We finally found the Resource room and then got scolded by the lecturer. I swear to never be late again for lessons. O:

After lectures, Shamini and I went over to the Cafe for a light lunch.
We tried the baked potato as Darminah told us to - she said it's like the one at Delifrance with the red crispy bacon on top.
Priya said it was torture eating it [HAHA!]
i thought it was a'ite except it might tast better without the chicken.
Sharmini ate the tuna one.
I think that's why it tastes bad, I hate tuna D:
Anyways, after the lunch, we headed to the library to borrow the econs references.
Apparently, Us J1s are so underprivileged |:
can't even borrow books from the library luhhh.
so pathetic, couldn't even find the book 'nyhoos (T_T)
So that was how I got over my day today.

96.3FM is getting on my nerves.
PLAY BIG BANG SONGS!
hahaha.
lol.
you do not control the airwaves, candice.

anyways, tomorrow's another day of lectures!
aja aja fighting!